


Obi

by the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser



Series: Obi [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25158103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser/pseuds/the_sun_is_a_deadly_laser
Summary: Watching Shane get the news was horrible. He could see Shane's world crumbling around him and it stung that there was absolutely nothing Ryan could do.TW: minor character death and dealing with waiting for said inevitable death.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej & Obi
Series: Obi [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878175
Comments: 16
Kudos: 101





	Obi

**Author's Note:**

> I'll explain why I did this at the end. And I'm sorry I keep adding in Laura, but in this, she's only mentioned. And I know that this isn't Obi's real adoption story, but if you read the note at the end, you'll understand.

Ryan knew something was wrong. Shane seemed worried and when he asked about it, all he was told was that Obi was acting a little strange. When Ryan walked into work one day, about a week after Shane started acting weird, he set his bag down and couldn't help but overhear Shane's conversation on the phone. 

"Yeah," he nodded. "Surgery? Okay." Pause. "Obi." Pause again. "Madej." 

Ryan frowned. 

"Yeah, he- he doesn't move a lot, he has a hard time swallowing and doesn't eat as much." Another pause. "Yeah, my friend was the one really talking to him. I was... Yeah. So I just- I want him to go over it again for me if that's alright." He sniffed like he was about to cry and Ryan looked over at him, worried. "Okay. Thank you." 

He hung up and Ryan leaned over. "Are you okay?" he asked. Shane nodded shakily. 

"Uh, Laura helped me take Obi to the vet yesterday," he explained. "I was... crying too hard and I didn't really understand what the doctor was saying." 

Ryan's body was robbed of air because of how bad he felt for Shane. He knew how much his friend loved his cat. Shane let out another shaky breath and quickly wiped away a tear. He reached a hand out. 

"Shane..." 

"Did I ever tell you the story of how I adopted him?" 

Ryan pursed his lips and drew his hand back. He didn't know if this was the right place for this, but Shane was obviously in pain. "No." 

Shane smiled sadly. "I went to the humane society and was looking for him, actually. Laura had gotten his brother and suggested that we had sibling cats because I got a different cat but she was too skittish and I couldn't keep her because she was scared of me. But Hobbes, Laura's cat, his brother's name was Alex at the time. He was in a big cage with like, two other cats. He was laying on the top of a huge playset, in one of those, like, half tubes, you know?" 

Ryan nodded, watching Shane tear up a little. 

"So I called his name, which was Alex, and he looked up right away. He looked so happy. He jumped down and sat in front of the door like a gentleman," he laughed. "Even when they opened the gate for him, he still sat there, looking at me. They picked him up and brought him into one of those little rooms where you get to know the animal. So the first thing he did was run around for a second and then he jumped headfirst into a trashcan." 

Ryan wasn't expecting that and he laughed. "That's so cute!" 

"I know," said Shane, his voice tight. "He knocked over the trashcan to get out and then came running over to me and tried to climb up my leg." 

He watched helplessly as Shane hid his face in his hands for a moment. He sniffed and looked back up. 

"That's how I knew he was the one," he laughed, only because he didn't want to cry. 

"Come here," Ryan murmured, holding out his arms. Shane collapsed into him and was clearly holding back tears. It only lasted for a second before Shane's phone started ringing and he pulled away quickly to answer it. 

"Hello?" 

The person on the other line talked for a few seconds and then Shane started talking. 

"Yeah. I was with Obi yesterday and I had a couple of questions. First, could you just go over what you told us yesterday because I was crying too hard to really understand it. Thanks." 

Shane was quiet and his face was contorted as he was listening. After about thirty seconds, he grabbed a notebook and flipped to a spare page and started writing. 

_Thickening of heart walls_

_Pumping blood gets harder_

_Echo_

_Serious disease - upper resp_

He paused for a second and crossed out _upper resp._

_Serious disease - ~~upper resp~~_

_Goal - medication to help heart function_

_Send to hospital_

_Prognosis - meds_

_Difficulty - some cats don't respond well_

_Can be treated_

_Days TO NOT????_

And then, slowly,

_Could die at any point_

Ryan's eyes widened. Obi was dying. He looked at Shane and saw his friend's world start crumbling around him and there was nothing Ryan could do. Shane's eyes were welling up with tears that hadn't fallen yet. 

"Okay," he said, his voice raspy. "I'll get back to you. Thank you. Yep, you too." 

He hung up and sobbed. Ryan took his arm and lead him away from the people who were coming in and locked them in the recording booth, turning on the light so no one would interrupt them. 

"He's going to die," Shane wailed. Ryan was glad that the booth was soundproof. "He- he has a heart disease and- and- it's going to _kill_ him, Ryan!" 

"Shane-" Ryan tried. 

"The doctor said that he could be dead within the _week!"_

"Let me get you some water."

"Either I take him in for an echo, and there's no guarantee that anything'll happen! That or I put him on medication that could speed up the process of his death!" Shane was hysterical, which was understandable. "But if I take him anywhere or _fuck something up,_ he could die from a heart attack! He doesn't like traveling!" 

"Let's get you home, big guy," Ryan said softly. 

Shane let out a sob that was easily the worst thing that Ryan had ever heard. It was vulnerable and broken and _helpless_ and desperate. He had never heard anything quite like it come out of Shane and he never wanted to hear it again. In fact, he started crying, too. 

"Shane," he whined, tears falling down his face, "come on, let's go back to your place." 

Shane shook his head senselessly, sobbing uncontrollably. 

"Shane," he said, somehow managing to sound firmer this time. "Come on." 

The taller man looked at him for a couple of seconds and took a couple of breaths to compose himself. He nodded. Ryan wiped his face. 

"I'll get your phone," he got out. "Meet me in the parking lot?" 

He nodded again and unlocked the booth. Ryan watched him walk away, his shoulders hunched in defeat. His posture radiated _pain_ and it was hurting Ryan. His best friend was losing something he cared about more than... more than he really cared about anything. Obi was everything to him.

He turned on his heel and wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm as he walked back to their desks to grab their things. 

"Hey, Ry," TJ said, concerned. "Is everything okay?" 

He shook his head. "No. Shane and I'll be taking the next couple of days off." 

"Is it Obi?" TJ asked. Ryan looked up at him and it was enough to tell TJ everything he needed to know. "Oh, shit," he whispered. 

"Oh, shit, indeed," Ryan sighed, taking Shane's phone and any other things that would be needed for the next few days before grabbing his own things. 

"Well, uh, we're here for him." 

He nodded. "Yeah," he breathed. "Thanks." 

Walking away, he shuffled the papers in his hands and felt his lips turn into the tell-tale pout of almost-about-to-start-crying. So he sped up and burst out of the doors into the hot July air. 

Shane was leaning against his car, wiping his tears and clearly trying to get a hold on himself. When Ryan was close enough, Shane let out an, 

"Ahhhhhhhhhh, fuck."

"I'm sorry, Shane," Ryan said, really, fully meaning it. Shane smiled bitterly, looking up at the sky like he was blaming the universe. 

"Just drop me off at home so I can spend however much remaining time there is with my cat." 

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I'm not leaving you alone." 

Shane closed his eyes and nodded. Eventually, he whispered, "Thank you." 

"Of course. Come on, I'm driving." 

"Okay," he said in the same soft, broken voice. 

He walked around after handing Ryan the keys and got in the passenger seat. Ryan got in the driver's seat and started the engine and backed out. 

"I'm scared," he whispered. Ryan's heart broke. 

"Me too." 

They rode in silence to Shane's place. Shane was crying the entire time. He was wiping up his snot with his shirt and let out small sobs from time to time. Ryan didn't care about what people would say if they saw, but he felt like it was the only thing he could do: he reached over and held Shane's hand tightly, which got Shane to cry harder, but he gripped Ryan's hand just as tightly. 

When the car stopped, Shane got up and almost ran up the stairs. Ryan followed quickly and made it through the door as Shane yelled for his cat before seeing him on top of a couch cushion. What he said next got Ryan to burst into tears: 

"Hey, buddy." 

He said it so gently, so lovingly, so scared, but so grateful that Obi was still alive. 

Ryan sobbed into his hand as he closed the door and Shane walked over to Obi quietly and pet him softly. Kissing his head, Ryan saw that Shane was whispering things into Obi's orange fur, occasionally hiccupping. 

"He's not purring," Shane sobbed quietly. Ryan was at a loss. "He already has a hard time breathing, so purring is harder." He made the nose again and Ryan couldn't do anything. He couldn't go over to him because Shane was having a moment with his cat. 

"I don't want him to _die._ He's only _eleven,_ and he's an indoor cat. He should have like, seven more years left!" Shane clearly wanted to yell, but he kept his voice down for Obi. Numbly, Ryan walked over and sat down on the arm of the couch. "He hasn't been sleeping with me, either," Shane lamented. "Is he- is he isolating himself?"

He was looking at Ryan for an answer, so Ryan had to swallow and answer sadly, "When they know they're dying, yes, they'll..." 

"So he is." 

It wasn't a question and they both knew it. Shane closed his eyes but tears still continued to come. 

"A selfish part of me doesn't want him to die in my arms," he whispered. "But I don't want him to die alone, either. I want to be there because... when he stops eating and can't get up-" he cut himself off with a sob. "I have to go in and put him down." 

Ryan surged forward and yanked Shane in for a tight hug. 

"Euthanize is such an ugly word," Shane cried, which confused Ryan because neither of them had said it. "I hate it. This isn't- this isn't _fair,_ Ryan." 

"I know," Ryan said in what he hoped was a comforting voice. 

"I thought we had more _time."_

"I know." 

That was all Ryan could say because he didn't know what else to say. What was there to say? Shane's cat was dying. A member of his family was _dying._

"I can't go back to work for a while." 

"I told TJ to tell the boss that you'll be gone for at least a week." 

Shane pulled away, murmuring, "Thank you." 

He gazed at Obi, who looked at him through half-lidded eyes. Ryan looked at Shane, who was looking at Obi, who was looking peacefully between the two of them. Shane's eyelashes were wet with tears and his face was red. He lifted up his hand and started petting Obi, who leaned into his touch and started purring. Shane broke out into a smile with a gasp. 

"He's purring," he cooed before choking on his own words with a sob. "He's _purring."_

"That's good." 

"Yeah..." 

They sat on the couch together until Obi closed his eyes with his head resting in the palm of Shane's hand. Ryan got up quietly to use the bathroom and when he came back out, Obi was snoring loudly and Shane was smiling with tears rolling quickly down his cheeks. His smile dropped, though, when he said to Ryan, not looking away from his cat, 

"I wish there was something I could do." 

Ryan sighed. "You can make him comfortable." Shane sighed but nodded. "Don't smother him with attention, though. Maybe- maybe we'll get lunch and watch some TV. You can stay on the couch and be with him all you want." 

Shane swallowed. "That sounds nice." 

So Ryan ordered them lunch and they did just that. Each time Shane got up, he would kiss Obi on the head twice and say that he loved him before he walked away. It was around seven when Shane asked, "Can I cuddle you? I just- I want to be touched." 

Breathless, Ryan said, "Yeah." 

Shane, who was already leaned back against the arm of the couch, put his legs up and held out his arms. Almost blushing, Ryan pushed himself flush with Shane's chest and got comfortable as they watched Solar Opposites. One hand ran through Ryan's hair and the other was petting Obi. His heart was racing and so was Shane's. He could hear it because his ear was up against his chest. 

They stayed like that for a long time. Every time Obi moved, they would both look at him for a second and Ryan could tell that whenever Shane looked at his cat, he was checking to make sure he was still breathing. 

"Would you mind staying over?" Shane asked. 

"Of course not," said Ryan, pushing himself up off of Shane. "I'll just go and-" 

"You can borrow some of my clothes," he said quickly. Ryan shook his head. 

"I'll be back in twenty. How long should I pack for?" 

"A week." 

He nodded. "Okay." 

Shane handed him his keys. Ryan almost walked out the door but turned around at the last second so he could go and hug Shane goodbye. 

On the car ride home, he couldn't help but think about how quiet Shane was being. He was barely talking, just looking at Obi. Which was fine, it was just out of character. Ryan cared about him. Of course. And he loved him, too. It wasn't that big of a deal. As he was packing his things, he knew that this was one of the worst things he'd ever have to do. 

He could handle ghosts and demons (barely, but still), but seeing Shane this upset and this scared and shaken, it was scarier than all of the haunted places they had been combined. Because Ryan loved this man and he hated seeing him in pain. He wasn't a religious person, but when his aunt was undergoing surgery for her brain tumor, which she eventually died from, he had prayed. It made him feel like just _maybe_ he was doing something. 

So he got down on his knees and put his hands together as he closed his eyes. 

_Dear God... please, I know we don't talk, but please, let Shane be okay. I know there's no way to help Obi, but I'm scared for Shane. I love him, which I know you 'frown upon,' or whatever, but please do me a solid. Thanks. Uh, I mean amen. Amen._

When he opened his eyes, he knew it was the placebo effect, but he felt a little better. Ryan grabbed his bag and got back into the car. On the drive back, How To Save A Life started playing over the radio and it made Ryan tear up a bit. He had to change the channel and ended up listening to Walking On Sunshine. 

He pulled into Shane's parking spot and went as quickly as he could to Shane's apartment. Shane looked up at him as he entered. 

"I don't know if I want him to die or live," he said in a monotone voice. Ryan looked at him. "Like, if he's alive," Shane continued, "I'll be worrying and his health will just decline. But if he dies suddenly or I have to go put him down- I don't... I don't know which one would hurt more." 

He looked so lost. 

Ryan almost ran over to him for a hug and Shane sobbed into his shoulder. 

"Shhhh, it's okay, big guy," Ryan whispered. 

"It's not," the mess before him shot back. "I feel so _bad."_

"No, it makes sense." Ryan was not nearly as calm as he was coming off. Internally, he was screaming, trying to come up with something to say that would make the situation better. "Because... uh, because while he's alive you're still hurting. But if he's dead, you can... come to terms with it. Him being alive leaves you in suspense and is gonna drive you crazy." 

Shane, crying quietly, nodded. "You're right," he hiccupped. Ryan exhaled. He did something right. "I'm tired," Shane breathed. "And my head hurts." 

Ryan looked at Obi over Shane's shoulder. He was laying on the couch, sleeping. "Okay, ibuprofen and sleep?" 

The taller man shook his head and pulled out of the hug. "I'm scared of sleeping," he admitted. "I'm scared that he'll be dead when I wake up." 

Ryan bit the inside of his cheek as he took Shane's hands. "He knows that he's loved," he said carefully, basically reciting what his mom had said to him when his childhood dog was dying, "and he loves you. Even if he does die, he knows..." he got choked up. "He knows that you love him." 

Shane's lip trembled. "You're right." 

He nodded. "Yeah. Come on, let's sleep." 

"One second." 

Shane turned and kissed Obi goodnight. "Hey, buddy," he whispered, already choked up. "If this is the last time I see you alive, just- just know I love you and that you're my best friend. Thank you for being there for me through everything and I'm gonna miss you so much. I love you, Obi." 

One more kiss on the head and Shane slowly turned away and walked into his bedroom, but not before he looked at Obi one more time with a heartbreaking expression on his face. Ryan followed him and helped Shane into bed before getting on the other side. After about five minutes of silence, Shane asked timidly,

"Hold me?" 

Without missing a beat, Ryan held Shane close from behind and pressed a tentative kiss to the back of his neck. As Shane shuddered, he whispered, "Everything's going to be okay, Shane." 

He nodded slowly. "Everything's going to be okay." 

\---

Ryan woke up to Shane rushing out of bed and into the living room. 

"Where's Obi?" he heard him yell. 

"I dunno!" he shouted back groggily. 

"Well, how- OH! Found him!" 

"Great," Ryan muttered to himself. Hearing Shane bump around in the kitchen, he closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. It only lasted so long. Shane came back into the room. 

"Ryan," he said, clearly terrified, "he's not eating." 

"Has he been eating, like," Ryan couldn't speak. "...yesterday?" 

Shane closed his eyes. "Not really." 

"So call the vet?" 

Shane left the room swiftly and Ryan fell back into the pillow. He must've passed back out, because the next thing he knew, he was being pushed awake at noon. 

"Wazzup?" he asked. And then he opened his eyes and saw Shane crying. He was immediately 50% awake. "What's wrong?" 

The man in front of him had to take a few deep, long breaths before even managing to get out, "The vet said that I should bring him in." 

Now Ryan was 100% awake. "Like- to be-" 

He couldn't bring himself to say it, but Shane answered his question with a quick jerk of his head. Just like that, Ryan's mood crumbled. He could only imagine how Shane felt. 

"Do you- do you want me to come with you?" he asked. 

"Could you?" 

"Yes. Of course. Uh, when?" 

"We have to leave in ten minutes." 

Shane broke down and Ryan got up quickly to pull him close. Shane was fisting his first so hard that he would probably pop a seam, but Ryan didn't care. His friend's heaving breaths were turning into something like an anxiety attack, so he pulled away and couched Shane through some breathing exercises. 

"Go on," he said softly when Shane was breathing somewhat normally again. "Go spend time with Obi." 

So Shane went and talked to him, pet him, told him how much he loved him, and it was almost too much for Ryan to take. He brushed his teeth and put on a new shirt. And then it was time to go. He had to watch as Shane sobbed, trying to put Obi in the carrier. 

"Come on," he cried. "I'm sorry, I know you hate it, I'm so _sorry."_

Obi was yowling as they walked out and got into the car. His cries for help were even louder as the car started moving. Shane was looking at his cat through the top of the carrier and sobbing, still apologizing and saying that he loved him. Ryan's tears were making it dangerous to be driving, but they made it to the vet's all the same. 

He ran around and opened the door for Shane and Obi and did the same with the door into the vet clinic. While Ryan checked them in, Shane was petting Obi as much as he could through the bars. When Ryan sat down, he put his arm around Shane and let him cry on his shoulder as he touched Obi as much as possible. Eventually, though, a door opened. 

"Obi?" 

Shane wiped his eyes and raised his hand. The doctor motioned for them to come in. So they picked up Obi and went into the room. 

"Hi, I'm Doctor Holmes," she introduced herself, shaking their hands. "And this is Obi?" 

"Yeah," said Shane shakily. 

"Okay. What we're going to do is inject him with a sedative. He'll go right to sleep. He won't feel a thing." 

Shane nodded as Ryan looked at the needle. 

"Can I hold him?" he croaked. 

"Of course," she said softly. "You get him out and I'll get everything ready." 

It wasn't pretty. Obi did not want to be held and Shane was fighting to keep him in his grasp. Doctor Holmes turned around with a needle and syringe in hand, smiling sadly. "Are you ready?"

"No," Shane admitted. Ryan leaned against a wall. He was feeling lightheaded. "But let's do this." 

Ryan watched with tears in his eyes and Shane kissed his cat on the head as the needle was being pushed into his scruff. He whispered how much Obi meant to him and how much he loved him and how grateful he was for their time together. As Obi's eyes were closing for the last time, Shane whispered,

"You're my boy. You're my orange boy and thank you for always loving me." 

That's where Ryan lost it. He cried, trying to be quiet but failing. Shane wasn't any better. Obi went limp in his arms and Shane held him close, sobbing and kissing his head, and telling him that it was okay, that he was in a better place. 

They left with Obi in Shane's arms, on their way to somewhere where Obi could get cremated. They dropped him off and went back to Shane's house. 

"It feels empty," he remarked. Ryan put his hand on Shane's arm. 

"I know, big guy." 

They cuddled on the couch until it was time to go get Obi. Leaving with just the two of them and returning with a box in Shane's hands felt horrible. Sinking. He put Obi gently down on the counter and leaned into Ryan. 

"I love you, you know," he sniffled. "I just- seeing him go... life is fucking fragile." Ah, there was the Shane that Ryan knew. "And I just thought you should know." 

Ryan looked up at him, smiling softly. "I love you, too." 

"Really?" 

Ryan reached up on his tiptoes and kissed him shortly. "Yeah," he whispered. "Really." 

"Not in front of Obi, dear Lord!" 

"Oh, shut up." 

"Make me." 

He was obviously still in pain, but this was the first step of moving forward. And they would be walking together. 

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is me projecting. 
> 
> First off, let me say that I was crying the entire time I was writing this. This is my strange way of coping and immortalizing my cat. His name is Kovu. He's going to die soon from what I had Obi die from. Kovu and Hobbes have been the only consistent things in my life throughout the past few years. They were the same through the fire, the divorce, the crisis, the self-harm, and the mental hospitals. Now, when we're about to go through a big change, we're moving, Kovu has a heart disease. I called the doctor this morning because I was crying too hard to really comprehend what he was saying and I needed him to go over it one more time. That's when I found out that he could die at any time and meds or surgery won't really help. So he's basically in hospice right now. He's isolating himself and our other cat, his biological brother, Hobbes, won't leave his side. 
> 
> So this is my story more than anything. I love Kovu more than the waking world and the thought of not having him around is breaking my heart. I'll never find a cat like him again. Obi's adoption story in here is Kovu's. I know the only thing I can do at this point is to try and make him as comfortable as possible. He knows he's loved and he loves us, too. 
> 
> He'll always be my boy and I'll always love him. Kovu, this is my love letter to you. While you're at my side, sleeping, I'm preparing for what will come as I listen to you breathe. You're my best friend and you've always been there for me. I'll miss you, bud. I love you present tense.


End file.
